Weavers Fields

Oh. Wow. Hello, summer! So long has it been since my melanin-deficient skin felt the sweet caress of UV, I barely knew what to do with myself when the sun came out last week. However, it doesn’t take a genius to realise that the only place to be when it’s above 20 degrees in London is the park…

I am lucky (?) enough to live within easy walking distance of the treasure that is London Fields, but I didn’t want to got there… I know for a fact that Hoxtonistas and Shoredolls alike have been carefully monitoring the thermometer awaiting the moment they can crack out their demin hotpants and crop tops (and that’s just the blokes) and strut up and down Broadway Market. And that’s not my scene. I prefer to drink my bottled organic cider somewhere a little less… Showy.

Weavers Fields provided the perfect antidote to the bane of the Trendy Wendy. Nestled just south of Bethnal Green Road, it’s hardly out of the way, but it seems to have escaped the perennially unemployed scene-sters of the aforementioned London Fields. I’d actually argue that it’s easier to get to, but maybe I should be keeping that quiet… Anyway. There was barely a brogue in sight. I don’t think I saw a single Poirot moustache. It was incredibly relaxing.

There are a couple of football pitches marked out on the 15 or so acres (what? Everyone works in acres these days). Unfortunately, a massive oversight on my part resulted in the lack of a football. Or a frizbee. Or anything remotely recreational. All the more reason to kick back on the grass and bask in the sun with drink in hand…

If (like me) you like to enjoy a substantial picnic whilst you catch some rays, the Tescos on Bethnal Green Road is perfectly situated to provide all you could need. There’s also the Star of Bethnal Green right there, which proved handy for a loo when the bottles of organic cider began to catch up with my bladder.

The one thing I would say is that it would have been nice if there’d been a pub a little closer to the grass. I mean… Even for someone as lazy as me, the Star wasn’t exactly a trek. But there’s something comforting about having a pub right there, you know? You never know when you’ll need a loo/sink/mirror or a drink in a glass/a proper chair. Or all of the above.

Still. I only needed one of those things in the end, so I managed just fine. AND none of the anticipated East London pretention. Huzzah! Thus making Weavers Fields officially my favourite greenspace within spitting distance of my flat. Easy.

Cheapskate rating:

8/10

Only lacking a pub.

Additional notes:            

Remember to take your frizbee/football/bat and ball/hoop and stick.

There’s a children’s play area (!)… It’s sadly full of children though. Selfish.

Got Google maps?: E2 6HW

Nearest tube: Bethnal Green (5 mins) or Whitechapel (10 mins)

Buses: 8, 388, D3

Overground: Bethnal Green (1 min)

Website: http://www.towerhamletsarts.org.uk/index.lasso?s=23&lang=e&v=132&guide=AllAges (snappy)

Wellcome Collection

As a self-diagnosed sufferer of mild OCD, I had trepidations about the current exhibition at the Wellcome Collection. Dirt: The filthy reality of everyday life had the potential to spin me into a vicious cycle of skin-scrubbing neurosis… But it’s all in the name of research, and I take my Cheapskatery very seriously. Fearlessly, I armed myself with a bottle of anti-bacterial hand wash and made my way to Euston Road…

I’ve been to the Wellcome Collection before: The mainstay exhibitions – Medicine Man and Medicine Now – are excellent. The first is a selection of objects collected by philanthropist Henry Wellcome over the course of his life. It includes such gems as Napoleon’s toothbrush – A must see. Medicine Now explores ideas about science and medicine since Wellcome’s death in 1936, with exhibits including the entire human genome sequence… Don’t read the whole thing though, it’s long.

The Dirt exhibition is split into six sections, exploring the concept of dirt through context; home, street, hospital, museum, community and land. If this sounds complicated, it isn’t really, but you’ll need to go there to fully understand (I’m not sure I can do it justice)… From 17^th century Dutch attitudes to housework, through London’s cholera epidemic, onto gangrenous hospitals, ethnic cleansing and propaganda, Indian ‘untouchables’ and finishing with modern landfill, the exhibition encompasses a surprisingly broad range of subjects. And it’s fascinating.

Fascination aside, I think my favourite bit of the whole collection was the detailed drawings of men and women dressed to combat cholera. Until you have seen a picture of a man with potion bottles suspended across his face, a torso strapped up in India rubber and platform shoes on, you haven’t lived. I’d go again just for that.

I spent an easy 3 hours at the Wellcome Collection this afternoon (although that did include a fair bit of time in the café), and I could have spent longer. It wasn’t nearly as OCD-inducing as I’d feared, although if you’re of a nervous disposition you may want to avoid the blocks of human faeces. Be sure to leave plenty of time to look round the permanent collections as well as Dirt, because there is a lot to take in. Don’t forget, you must see Napoleon’s toothbrush…

Dirt will be on show until August this year. The exhibition is just one part of the Dirt Season organized by the Wellcome Trust – There are various tours and events on offer, including collaborations with the Eden Project, Glastonbury and various other festivals, as well as an intriguing-sounding “scratch and sniff” experience with BBC 2’s upcoming Filthy Cities series (check the website for more details).

Cheapskate rating:

8/10

Good clean fun (seewhatIdidthere?!).

Additional notes:            

If you don’t eat an apple and cinnamon muffin from Peyton & Byrne, you’re an idiot.

Make sure you wash your hands before you eat it.

Got Google maps?: NW1 2BE

Nearest tube: Euston Square (2 mins), Euston (4 mins), Warren Street (5 mins) or
 King's Cross (15 mins)

Buses: 10, 30, 390 (plus loads more, check TFL for more details)

Overground: Euston (4 mins), St. Pancras (12 mins) or King's Cross (15 mins)

Website: http://www.wellcomecollection.org/

New York Bakery Breakfast Club

I’m not much of a morning person, so getting up at 6:15 am last Thursday to travel to the New York Bakery Breakfast Club was a bit of a shock to the system. I was prepared to put the effort in though – awaiting me at the Piccadilly Theatre was an exclusive 25-minute condensed version of the classic musical Grease accompanied by a bagel breakfast. All for free. Yessss.

I was greeted at the door by a man wielding a tray of bagels of all flavours (smoked salmon and cream cheese for me, naturally), as well as – jackpot! – a free orange juice. Better and better. I managed to bag a seat right in the middle, and scoffed my bagel before the performance started. You don’t want to be distracted from the big musical numbers because there’s smoked salmon hanging down your chin…

The first sign of a member of the cast was Vince Fontaine entering stage right onto a raised platform. If you don’t know who Vince Fontaine is, by the way, I make no apologies. I’ve not seen the stage version of Grease before, but I have seen the film (at least 20 times, I reckon) and I expect most other people have too. It’s a sort of rite of passage isn’t it? Every character should be pre-programmed into one’s subconscious.

The poor bloke playing Vince was clutching a clipboard, from which (in character) he unceremoniously reeled off a series of bagel facts. “New York Bakery Co. bagels are low in fat and suitable for vegetarians”… His embarrassment was palpable. As was that of the audience. Between 8 and 8:40, when the performance began in earnest, he appeared 3 more times to sing bagel-ly praises, and each occasion was more cringe-worthy than the last.

Eventually it was time for the mini-musical to begin. Thank god, there was no way they were going to be able to plug bagels any more during the actual performance; They already had their work cut out condensing 2 hours of plot into a mere 25 minutes. The first number, obviously, was Grease Is the Word. Summer Lovin’ and Greased Lightening followed in swift succession… There was a lot of assumed understanding about the underlying plot, but as I said – it’s a teenage rite of passage, right?

We were 10 minutes into the show when Vince appeared stage right again. Presumably acting as a filler whilst the cast underwent a costume change, we were treated to yet more bagel propaganda, and even a couple of bagel jokes, before the cast reappeared… All clutching bagels. *hangs head*. This was too much.

What can only be described as a ‘Megamix’ followed, marking the end of the performance. The singing and dancing was excellent, it must be said. At the final bow Danny threw his comb into the audience… The woman on the receiving end ducked out of the way of the projectile and left it on the floor. Rock ‘n’ Roll.

Despite the early start and the mortifying bagel hard-sell, I will do pretty much anything for free food, so I’d say it was worth it. This was the first such New York Bakery Co. Breakfast Club, and they look set to do more… Keep an eye on the facebook page for details of future Breakfast Club events.

Cheapskate rating:            

6/10

OK, I get it – you guys like bagels.

Additional notes:

The bagels were – as advertised – delicious and nutritious.

The actor who currently plays Danny is called Matthew Goodgame. Sweet

Got Google maps?: W1D 7DY

Nearest tube: Piccadilly Circus (3 mins) Leicester Square (7 mins) or Oxford Circus (10 mins)

Buses: 88, 91, 139 (plus loads more, check TFL for more details)

Overground: Charing Cross (12 mins)

Website: http://www.facebook.com/newyorkbakery

Museum of London

What is it with me and being on exactly the same time schedule as all under 10s? First it happened at Hackney City Farm, then at Museum of London, where I could barely move for children. I can assure you it is not conducive to historical learning.

After getting stuck behind a walking bus of 8 year olds as they traversed a room almost exclusively populated by flints, I lost my nerve a little bit and headed to the shop. Retail therapy was the key to passing the time whilst the school groups dispersed. I spent 20 minutes perusing the excellent fare on offer (honorable mention should go to the plague rat hand puppet, the solar-powered waving effigy of the Queen and the collection of “nostalgic tins”) before I braved the exhibitions again…

This time I skipped the Stone Age altogether and cruised through to the Romans. There were still loads of kids about, and I’m slightly ashamed to say that I made a fairly swift exit... I don’t know if I’ve just watched too much Spartacus: Blood and Sand, but I felt a bit Roman-ed out; I wasn’t looking carefully enough, probably, but I feel like I’ve seen enough Roman artifacts in my lifetime. OK, Museum of London, what else you got?

Downstairs boasted – by means of an unassuming sign – an exhibition of “Modern London”, including fashion through the last few decades, mostly centered upon (in my eyes) a black cutaway dress from the good old days of punk. I stared at it covetingly… The display cabinet of fake afternoon tea was less good.

More listless wandering around and I was ready to give up. I am clearly an ill-educated fool who wouldn’t know good history if it was meticulously laid out in front of me… And then: something wonderful happened. I stumbled upon a temporary exhibition of London Street Photography.

Finally I had found something I could concentrate on. The hundred or so snapshots on display range from the 1860s right up to the present day, and offer a fascinating view of London life through a lens. I felt transported to another time; from My Fair Lady to Bedknobs and Broomsticks via Mary Poppins, and beyond. Keep an eye out for the Teddy Boy and Girl in Petticoat Lane… Fantastic.

I spent as long gawping at the photos as I had done scooting round the entire rest of the Museum of London. That particular exhibition will be on show at MOL until September this year, and is definitely worth a visit. The rest of the collections probably deserve another chance too… The museum is open 7 days a week, and there’s also a MOL Docklands to sink your teeth into (check the website for more details).

Cheapskate rating:

6/10

Too many kids, too many flints. Saved by Street Photography.

Additional notes:            

Check out the a-maaaaz-ing Street Museum app for iPhone/android…

The shop has an array of kitch Royal memorabilia (solar-powered Queen a highlight).

Got Google maps?: EC2Y 5HN

Nearest tube: Barbican (4 mins), St. Paul's (5 mins) or Moorgate (10 mins)

Buses: 4, 56, 100 (plus loads more, check TFL for more details)

Overground: Barbican (4 mins) or St. Paul’s (5 mins)

Website: http://www.museumoflondon.org.uk

St. Martin in the Fields

Despite walking past it countless times since moving to London – the last occasion being just 2 days ago on the way to the National Portrait Gallery – I’d never actually been inside St. Martin in the Fields before today. Not much of a church-goer, you might say. But the tempting offer of a free lunchtime concert drew me in…

I wasn’t the only one. The first person I saw upon entering St. M in the F was an inebriate who was being very gently coaxed out of the door by the vicar. I then walked past someone hunched over in the pews (were they passed out or praying?), before the man in front of me tripped over… But that may just have been because he was old.

I found a seat nearish the front and settled in for the concert. Today’s recital was given by Cambridge Song Prize Winners Dominic Sedgwick and James Henshaw. Dominic (a baritone, the program informs me) and James (the pianist) performed Three Salt-Water Ballads followed by Dichterliebe Op 24… The former being just under 10 minutes of energetic little numbers revolving around the life of a sailor, and the latter being a cycle of songs from Heinrich Heine’s Lyrisches Intermezzo.

Dominic’s voice was fantastic, accompanied by faultless piano from James. Unfortunately the Salt Water Ballads were a little… Well… Gilbert & Sullivan for me. I don’t know if it’s because the words were being peppered out like machine gun fire, or simply the fact that they were in English, but I couldn’t help thinking that they sounded a little… Show tune-y. No offence, Dom.

The thing about choral numbers is that they always sound a bit better if they’re in another language. I had absolutely not the foggiest idea what Dichterliebe (performed, unsurprisingly, in German) was about, which meant I could just listen to the music and stare around at the beautiful surroundings. St. M in the F is the sort of ornately gilded house of worship of which I thoroughly approve.

For 35 minutes I sat quietly enjoying the music and feeling incredibly high brow. Then a baby a couple of rows behind me made a hilarious gurgling noise and I dissolved into giggles. Not that high brow then. I recovered myself just in time for the final bars of Dichterliebe and the ensuing rapturous applause. Quick encore and then done. All in under an hour.

As I wandered out, I noticed that the man was still praying; stooped over in the last row of pews. Perhaps he too had been moved by Dominic Sedgwick’s soaring baritone. Different performers play every Monday, Tuesday and Friday at St. Martin in the Fields (see the website for more details)… If they’re all as talented as Messrs Sedgwick and Henshaw, that’s a thrice weekly treat.

Cheapskate rating:            

6/10

High brow. Low cost.

Additional notes:

There’s a suggested donation of £3.50 for each performance.

Check out the back window of the church. It’s lush.

Got Google maps?: WC2N 4JH

Nearest tube: Leicester Square (4 mins), Charing Cross (3 mins) or Embankment (6 mins)

Buses: 24, 29, 176 (plus loads more, check TFL for more details)

Overground: Charing Cross (3 mins)

Website: http://www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org  

National Portrait Gallery

Portraiture. Is it lame? I mean… I like looking at pictures of myself, but can other people ever really hold the same appeal? Time to find out.

I got to the National Portrait Gallery late yesterday, which meant I didn’t have as much time as I’d have liked to look around… There is a lot to see, and if you want to fit in a visit to the shop and the café on top of that, you’re going to need a while.

I spent most of the afternoon trying to look like I was texting whilst I surrepticiously took photos on my phone. VERY naughty. But there were some that I just needed to have… Like the Warhol prints of HRH Queen Liz II, or the Julian Opie panels of Blur, or Marc Quinn’s “Self”: A frozen sculpture of his head made in his own blood. Nice.

From the contemporary portraits on the ground floor, I went up to the 20^th Century portraits (including the Warhols, and a great painting of Paul McCartney, amongst others). However, the big treat for me was on the second floor… The Tudor rooms house not one, not two, but three portraits of Queen Elizabeth I, painted at various times in her life. Three original paintings of the greatest ruler this country has ever seen (don’t question me on this. Not only is it objective fact, she’s also ginger).

That wasn’t all. In fact, there were so many incredible paintings, sketches, photographs and prints in the NPG, by the time I had been in there for a couple of hours, my brain was totally saturated. I was walking past the most incredible portraits of the most incredible people in British history and not taking anything in… Time for a coffee.

Except – no. Remember how I got there late? The coffee shop was closing. No coffee. I hot-footed it up to the Portrait Restaurant on the top floor… Oh well, it’ll HAVE to be a cocktail then… Except – no. The Portrait Restaurant is only open in the evening on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Damn. No cocktail.

If I’d had my coffee/cocktail fix, I probably would’ve been good to go for at least another hour or so, and I wouldn’t have been short of things to look at. And that’s just in the free galleries. At the moment there are ticketed exhibitions of both Hoppé and Ida Kar (£12 for both together), and if you don’t fancy forking out, and you’re between 14-21, they have free activities on all year round (see the website for more details).

Cheapskate rating:            

8/10

A feast for the eyes, from the historical to the hysterical.

Additional notes:

The view from the Portrait Restaurant (when open) is spectacular.

Remember to pick up a postcard or 10 from the gift shop. Affordable portraiture.

Got Google maps?: WC2H 0HE

Nearest tube: Leicester Square (2 mins), Charing Cross (5 mins) or Embankment (8 mins)

Buses: 24, 29, 176 (plus loads more, check TFL for more details)

Overground: Charing Cross (5 mins)

Website: http://www.npg.org.uk/

Hackney City Farm

A farm? A farm? OK, I’m totally not excited. I come from the countryside. I am at one with farms; real farms. So why on Earth would I spend my valuable leisure time at a City farm?!

I’ll tell you why: Because there is nothing more thrilling than seeing a pig framed by a council estate.

To get in the mood (and let everyone at HCF know that I was worth my farming salt), I donned my wellies and obligatory East London Barbour jacket, and headed off up Hackney Road…

Entrance to the farm is through a kind of stable yard, which – excitingly – was overrun with chickens. Chickens! One side of the yard housed a shed with rabbits, guinea pigs and the like, whilst the other had various fowl (various foul what? Ho ho). AND, the pièce de résistance; pigs. I am terrified of pigs. But terrified in a good way; fascinated, morbid terror. All four pigs were soundly asleep in their pigpens. I was safe.

From the yard, you walk through to a… Pasture? I’m going to say pasture. In the pasture were a donkey, some sheep, more chickens, some mud and a hell of lot of ducks. Ducks are great. I wandered around a bit, although there wasn’t much more to see (to be fair I think there was a bike shop or something – meh), and then it was time for lunch.

The farm’s own Frizzante Café had an amazing menu of delicious-looking food on offer. Unfortunately, I had picked my moment to lunch very badly… A multitude of mothers were crowded in there, choo-choo-ing spoonfuls of organic mush into the mouths of countless babes in arms. I was put off a bit by the crèche-y vibe, so I pushed off. Shame; the food really did look delicious.

One final peek around the vegetable and herb garden before I went revealed a small pond with actual real life newts in it. A grand finale.

Although I felt I’d done Hackney City Farm after about ¾ hour, I absolutely loved it from stable-y start to field-y finish. The only thing that would have improved it is if I had been allowed to manhandle some little fluffy animals… And been able to get a table for lunch. The farm also offers additional activities such as pottery making, bee keeping and yoga (check the website for more details), so a fleeting look at the livestock could easily be fleshed out into something a little more substantial.

Cheapskate rating: 
7/10

Livestock heavy, but light on petting.

Additional notes: 
Don’t plan a trip on a Monday. They’re shut.

The website promised chinchillas; I saw none.

Got Google maps?: E2 8QA

Nearest tube: Hoxton (10 mins) or Bethnal Green (15/20 mins)

Buses: 26, 48, 55

Overground: Cambridge Heath (10 mins) or Hoxton (10 mins)

Website: http://www.hackneycityfarm.co.uk/